Helping Others is What Keeps My Head Above Water

Helping Others is What Has Kept 
My Head Above Water

How I Learned to Cope With The Pain And Confusion of 
Cancer, Stroke and Other Serious Medical Issues

Copyright 2025 Kenneth Lane Smith

All Rights Reserved 

Beating The Hell Out Of The Cancer Bell

After Completing 40 Days of Radiation

What This Guide Is About

Anyone who has had to endure life altering injuries and devastating medical diagnoses will immediately understand how challenging this can be. 

Somehow I managed to navigate through a multitude of medical minefields, treatments and operations over the past three years. Thankfully, I have come through the other side with a new appreciation of my life for what it is now and being able to accept my new realities. 

I wrote this guide to assist those in similar situations to assist them in powering their way through the darker days and making those days just a little brighter. My journey has certainly been a learning experience. 

Having lived my life for over 65 years without any major medical emergencies or issues, I was totally unprepared for how much my life could change in an instant, just a few months after starting my retirement in January of 2021.

I won’t be focusing on the details of my accident that started it all, but I will touch on the ramifications and snowballing effect of my injuries that fateful day and the steps I took to handle it all without losing my mind as best I could.

I don’t think my story is particularly unique as I’ve learned there are thousands of people like me and often much worse off than I. For a thousand different reasons they somehow found themselves in a dark and scary minefield of fear and the unknown of what was, and was going to happen to them. My goal for this guide is to help you find your own strength and courage to get through each day. I hope to share some very simple tips, tools and techniques that have helped me through my darkest hours. That is my goal.

Over the past 3 years, I have come to understand what I am now capable of and what is no longer within my control. Discovering the limits of one’s physical and mental abilities can be a very hard pill to swallow, however I am not one to easily surrender. I have not fully recovered and I will never completely get back to my old self, but I refuse to quit, so I consider myself to be a work in progress.

Probably the greatest epiphany I have had, is the understanding of the importance of believing that I will power through each obstacle on my way to regaining some of my old life. 

I have found it is more important to focus on today and let any worries about tomorrow, wait until tomorrow. In other words, I have adopted the attitude that I don’t have a problem, until I have a problem. I cannot overstate how important this belief has been to me.

Finally, before we get started, you have to know that I am not a doctor, medical professional, psychologist or therapist in any field related to health or well being. I am just a patient, probably very much like yourself. Please understand that everything in this guide comes directly from my own personal experience and not conjecture in any way. In other words, please consider my suggestions for what they’re worth as you would if listening to a trusted friend, and not a trained medical professional. I will share with you what I have discovered during my own journey but I will stop there. I’ll leave the healing to the folks that actually know how to heal. 

So please do not expect this simple guide to cure whatever issues and ailments you are struggling with. It will not. However, I hope to provide you with some very simple tools to cope with your situation, and turn your bad days into better days.

Before we begin, please allow me to give you a very brief look at some of the medical issues I have dealt with over the past three years which became the motivation for this guide;

A simple trip and fall accident resulted in a crushed bladder and sentenced me to a lifetime of having to self-catheter five times a day. During the fall, my right humerus bone in my upper arm shattered like a crystal glass, requiring a 4 1/2 hour surgery to remove dozens of tiny bone fragments from my arm followed by the insertion of a stainless steel plate and 8 screws to hold my arm together.

My Robo-Arm

After the operation I found my arm bound to my chest for 3 months making everyday tasks in life such as feeding myself and certain hygiene functions extremely difficult.

I Was A Mess!

Finally, after a few  months of this I was stricken with two strokes that initially left me with the inability to walk along with ongoing balance and memory issues.

Finally after months of physical therapy, stroke rehabilitation, multiple operations and various treatments and 2 years of home recovery, I received a diagnosis of Stage 3 Prostate cancer, of which I continue to receive treatments today, but on the plus side, I’m still here.

Radiation On The World's Worst Disney Ride

So as you might imagine, I have had a lot of time to think which I’ve used to develop the mental resources to aid in my healing and recovery. This brings us to the list of the ten most important things I developed to maintain my sanity during this medical rollercoaster on the road to recovery.

I credit each of these with helping me immensely, and I sincerely hope by sharing these suggestions with you, they may also help you cope during your own medical journey.

Sincerely,

Kenneth

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Following are my ten secret methods I used to aid in my recovery and keep me away from going off the proverbial deep end of the pool. 

These are in no particular order because I feel they were all equal in their effectiveness in helping me, and I believe they can help others as well. 

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1: Realizing That It Could Be Much Worse

I find that there is a tendency to look at some medical situations and feel that what has happened isn’t fair. I’m not sure I understand the logic of that and I believe that this is a massive waste of potential healing energy.

By healing energy I mean staying in a positive state of mind as much as possible. There is truth to the power of positive thinking.

I learned a long time ago that if I were to accept the “It’s Not Fair” mantra, then what I would really be saying is, why did this bad thing happen to me? If that’s the case then shouldn’t I also be asking “Why did this good thing happen to me” when something goes right?

I’m sorry, but I am not an “Oh woe is me” type person. I think it is very self-destructive and counter to what I really needed to get better and move forward. 

I have seen so many people in the health care system over the last few years who are in absolutely terrible shape with horrible disfiguring injuries, illnesses and mental struggles, plus their problems are compounded by being on their own in their care. I cannot allow myself to feel sorry for myself, and the phrase  “There but for the grace of God go I” springs to mind whenever I see someone suffering in some terrible condition. I have to be so grateful that my medical issues are trivial compared to others.

For example, I recently saw a man who I would guess would be in his late 20’s, who had an absolutely horribly disfigured growth on one side of his face. I imagine that this might be a cancerous tumor that was at least half the size of his head. I cannot even fathom how this poor fellow goes about his day and the terrible mocking he must face from unknowing children and some unfeeling adults. 

I can certainly say tragic events like this are not fair to those poor souls, but I would be ashamed of myself if I were to compare my medical troubles with theirs in any way at all.

So as challenging as my situation has been, I refuse to say, “What has happened to me is “Not Fair!” 

2: Pain Management

Pain can be debilitating when it is relentless and constantly top of mind.

There were many times when I was experiencing incredible pain after being sliced and diced during operations. My stomach looks like a gutted fish, and my upper arm was scarred from the incisions where they inserted the large stainless steel plate and screws to keep it from falling off.

After being discharged, I was no longer on the opioid meds they gave me during my initial hospital stay, so I relied on extra strength pain killers. I have always been very careful with any meds in not wanting to overdo it. I always tried to keep a balance between pain management and needing more relief than necessary. I was aware of the maximum daily dosage of Extra Strength Tylenol that I was taking and I never exceeded it. There were many times however I had to count down the minutes until I could have another pill.

I developed a type of mind over matter technique to trick myself into believing I was receiving more pain relief by telling myself that I would be in less pain in an hour than I was at that moment. This mind control really began to work! I would later extend it to longer periods of time before relief came. This did two things, it conditioned me to honestly expect that things were going to be better soon, and it also increased my pain tolerance.

I kept this up by telling myself, “I know I’m in pain now, but soon I will not be in pain”, and I really believed it. I found that this was a very powerful tool. 

3: Laughter Is The Best Medicine

I have no problem laughing at myself, in fact self-deprecating humor is my style!

Maybe it is my defense mechanism to laugh at myself as a way to combat the stresses of some of the treatments I have had to go through. Either way it helps me, but there is an added benefit to me when I can share some of my comical situations with others, and I notice it makes them feel better about things. That is my reward!  

When I’m at home, I start my day by watching comedy shows on TV and if I watch a movie, I am much more interested in comedies than serious shoot-em-up, horror movies. I’ve had enough horror in my own life over the past few years thank you very much!

I somehow have a knack of “Finding The Funny” wherever I look and it is great therapy for me and helps me cope. 

Here’s a true story and an example of looking for the funny in life;

During a recent visit to a local hospital for a scan test, I was directed to a large waiting room filled with other patients, most of whom were quite elderly - (yeah, like I should be talking about being elderly).

There were two ladies who, shall we say, were of an even older vintage than my own. One of the ladies had a very concerned look about her and was clearly very stressed about whatever procedure she was about to undergo. I noticed that her friend was trying her best to keep her calm, apparently with little success by the looks of it.

As I’m sure you know, many medical procedures performed in a hospital require that you remove all of your clothing and don a medical gown, that can best be described as a light blue table cloth with a couple of thin tie straps. One strap goes around the neck, and the other is used to secure the gown from the back, and is only long enough for someone with a body shaped like a string bean. Personally, my body is shaped more like a beet than a bean. This leaves my gown wide open on the back and makes it look like I’m smuggling a couple of lily white cauliflowers back there.

When I was called for my scan, I got up and walked directly in front of the two ladies. As I passed, I quickly turned to the one who was most anxious and said, “Now don’t you be peaking at my bare bum”, to which, without missing a beat, she said, “Well I wasn’t going to look, but now that you mention it…” as a huge smile came across her face and I thought, yes, my job here is done!

4: Facing My Fears Head On

I have had many times when I was afraid of whatever procedure I was going to go through. I think it is only natural when doctors are slicing and dicing your body to be worried about what could go wrong.

There have been other times when I had to face my fears and just get on with it. This can be extremely difficult to do sometimes, but having the information you need to make decisions means you’re better prepared to do so.

But, what about the times when the decision is out of your hands? When a situation arises and you have to undergo an emergency procedure?

This happened to me numerous times. Honestly, I maintain a high degree of confidence and trust in the medical professionals that I have come into contact with and I simply have to put my faith in them. Yes, it can be a gamble at times, but what else can I do other than try to screw up my courage and face my fears head on, and quite honestly, hope for the best. 

One of my biggest fears was weighing the potential outcomes during a trial test to see if I could regain the ability to urinate naturally with an electrical device that operates much like a heart pacemaker in that it stimulates the muscles to control bladder function. This would then allow me to urinate naturally thereby eliminating my need to have to insert a catheter five times a day. The device is called Sacral Neural Modulation and it operates by tapping into the spinal nerves at the base of the spine. 

My fear was based on my unfounded concern of the potential damage which in my mind could have left me unable to control my bowels and possibly paralyzed and in a wheelchair for the rest of my life if the nerves were cut or damaged. Fortunately the procedure went without incident, but unfortunately the trial of the device did not work for me and I remain unable to urinate naturally.

How I managed to get over my fears was by thinking of the potential positive outcome of being able to urinate naturally and how that would improve my quality of life, so I made the decision that taking the chance was worth the risk. 

Getting past any fears you might have can be very difficult at times, but I feel it is extremely important to face them head on if you can and not be ruled by them.

5: Staying Distracted

I found it was very important for me to find a distraction to keep my mind off my pain and stress as much as possible. I’m not a big TV watcher, so that was out. I have played guitar (not very well for over 50 years) but with my shattered arm, that was now out of the question as well.

I get a lot of value out of writing about just anything at all. Most of the time, I’ll write something and then just toss it away. This is partly due to the fact that since my strokes, my sense of concentration and memory has been severely impacted. I’ll spend hours writing something and when I review it a few days later, I’ll think to myself, this sounds very familiar. Well of course it sounded familiar because I wrote the same thing a few days ago and completely forgot that I did!

So staying distracted has been a real challenge for me. Fortunately my wife came up with the perfect solution - Scrabble! We play everyday at 10:30 in the morning and I have to admit I was terrible at the game when we first started, I have come a long way since.

I have to give her the credit she deserves, because she is always playing word games on her phone and clearly has a superior vocabulary, so she is the de facto champion of the Scrabble olympics in our home.

But to give myself a bit of credit, when I first started to play, I would manage to win maybe one out of every fifty games (or was she just feeling sorry for me and let me win?), but I have elevated my skill set to winning two or three out of fifty games! Mathematically, that’s up to a 300% increase!

The game certainly is a great distraction for me, keeping my mind occupied and away from any negative thoughts. It also helps with my memory in recalling words and how to spell them.

Another of my distraction techniques is to try and get out and walk around the block whenever I’m up to it. The ability to be able to walk in my neighbourhood has been a major milestone for me. When I was first released from the stroke rehabilitation center I could only manage to walk a few steps, I was extremely limited in my ability to move. I eventually graduated from using a specially modified walker where I had to control it with only my left arm using a cane. I remember the day I managed to walk down my 40 foot driveway for the first time. That was a HUGE for me! I continued to work on building up my strength to be able to walk across my residential street. 

Eventually walking became a daily distraction and something I look forward to everyday. I can now regularly walk around a few blocks which takes me about an hour for something that I used to do in 15 minutes, but the point is I am making progress!

A huge benefit of walking is that it gets me out of the house, into the fresh air and keeps my social skills up when I meet someone and have a chat. I have no problem striking up conversations with anyone I cross paths with and that’s very healthy for me.

Now I must be honest and say that my two strokes have limited my ability to walk and greatly reduced my stamina. I tend to get very tired after a one hour walk and as I near the end of my walk, I look like I’m somewhat inebriated as I appear to stagger down the sidewalk. I try to let folks I meet know that I have not been into the booze during my early morning walks.  

Scrabble, writing, walking or anything else I can do that gets my mind off my issues and thinking positive is a good thing.   

If you can, try to find some sort of activity, game or interest to keep your mind and if possible, your body active. It will pay off!   

6: Be Careful Where You Get Your Information - Listen To The Real Experts

Fear of the unknown can be debilitating. Well it certainly was for me not knowing what type of things my doctors were going to do to me, or have me do to myself. I will not lie to you, I have been terrified at times of what was coming next.

For example, one day my urologist said that she was going to schedule me for my first (of many) Cystoscopy. I was told that she was going to insert a camera into my bladder to see how it was healing weeks after the emergency surgery following my trip and fall accident.

I imagined that the bladder was like a water balloon, and it had basically exploded inside me during the fall and she had repaired it during the operation. 

Fair enough I thought, a simple look and see to follow up - no worries there….

Unfortunately, I mistakenly assumed that the big scar on the lower half of my belly would also be the entry route she would use to enter the bladder. I was clueless about the procedure. I asked her to confirm that my assessment of the procedure was correct, and to my horror, she set me straight. She would push a small camera into my bladder alright, but not through my belly. She was going to push it up where urine normally comes out!

Now you might think that after going through emergency surgery on my personal plumbing system, I would be used to the attention I was about to receive. Not so much, as everything performed on me during the operation was while I was knocked out under general anesthesia.

When she told me how and where the camera would travel inside me, I was to put it mildly, terrified!

I have to admit I do have a tendency to overthink things, which brings out the worst in me. I have come to learn to listen to trained professionals who know what they're talking about, and not the so-called self-proclaimed experts on the internet chat groups. 

Unfortunately, some of my “research” came from posts on Facebook and just made my fears even worse. I heard horror stories about cystoscopies but suffice it to say, there’s a huge difference between credible professional advice and everyday opinions on the internet.

So now I try to always get my information from the experts. Once armed with the facts, it is much easier for me to make informed decisions.

Don’t add to any of your stress by listening to those that may have ulterior motives for the information they spread - go to the experts like your doctors!

 

7: Accepting My New Reality For My 

Life Going Forward

I had three major new realities to deal with;

When I came out of my initial stay in hospital, I didn’t know how my life would be forever changed. It wasn’t until I learned I would have to self-catheter to allow me to urinate for the rest of my life.

When I had my stroke and couldn’t walk or perform a lot of normal life functions and eventually learned what my capabilities would be going forward.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, and didn’t know if I would live or for how long.

All of these were serious life altering events for me and I had to somehow come to terms with my new reality. I decided to accept my situation the best way I could and why not? 

With the exception of working to regain as much of my old life as possible, I found I was better off learning to cope with the reality of it all, and make the best of it. 

I can’t urinate naturally and that is a fact, and there’s nothing more I can do about it. I did try the trial device that might have helped me, but it didn’t. What am I going to do, cry about it? I was disappointed of course, but I accepted the reality and moved on.

The stroke was a hard one to deal with because it took a long time to regain some of my former physical and mental functionality, some of which I continue to work on. I don’t like it, but it is what it is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.  

The cancer was no different because I was initially told that the cancer would kill me in nine months unless I proceeded with the doctor’s regiment of treatments. I accepted that reality and now two years after my diagnosis, I’m still here to tell you about it. I accepted that my odds of survival were dramatically better with treatment than without it. 

I consider myself to be a pragmatic person accepting the way my life is, all the while trying to improve it wherever I can.

I figure the best path forward for me is to not waste energy denying my reality, but to suck it up and continue to work hard to improve my life no matter how little. I feel any positive change toward my future is effort well spent and I highly recommend it!

 

8: I Created A Mantra For Myself

As I previously mentioned, when I was released from the stroke rehabilitation center, my capabilities were extremely impaired. Simple things that used to be a normal part of my life, were now major challenges. Trying to make my way from the sofa to the bathroom, or navigating a few steps on the stairs were suddenly major challenges.

I suppose my motivation for creating a mantra was part anger and part stubborn determination. Damn it, I wanted my life back, and I wasn’t going to rely on my wife any more than I had to if it was at all possible because she deserves a life too. Eventually I made progress, good progress, to where I am today by constantly reciting my personal mantra.

I created this mantra for myself and I now live by it everyday. 

It states my goals in very simple terms toward my recovery and there’s hardly a day that goes by where I don’t remind myself of them. I find it is incredibly important to remember that my journey back is getting closer, but still far from over as I stay on the path back to my old life.

Please feel free to use this for yourself, or develop your own that is more in tune with your strengths and determination. My daily mantra is:

I will do whatever I can,

Whenever I can,

For as long as I can

It is very simple and easy to remember, especially when I am presented with a challenge to my current capabilities. Fortunately those challenges are becoming less and less as time moves forward.

9: Marking My Achievements

One of the best ways I found of keeping my head on straight was creating goals for myself. After my initial accident, I didn’t really realize it at the time, but I was entering a completely new phase of my life and not something I could have ever imagined. I needed a major attitude adjustment and a serious talk with myself about what my new reality would be and what were my expectations. This was a very hard pill to swallow.

I went from having a successful and personally very rewarding business in which my wife and I were able to travel around the world, to being unable to do the simplest tasks like putting on a shirt or a pair of shoes. Quite a comedown.

In the past, my goals might have meant increasing my sales, or introducing new products to my line up. Now I was faced with major challenges like learning to walk again, or take a shower.

So my goals became as basic as increasing the number of steps I could manage. How much further could I walk down my driveway? Maybe it was picking up a towel that had dropped to the floor, or lifting a jar of peanut butter off the second shelf. To most people, very simplistic goals, but to me very real struggles. I became very focused on meeting and mastering my goals and was proud of how I progressed. 

Setting goals and marking achievements was my way of keeping score. Who was going to win today? Was it me, or was it that jar of peanut butter?

I found it incredibly important to take note of any achievements no matter how insignificant. I will often find myself stopping and noticing that I can do something today that I couldn’t do a week before, and it feels really good to mark my progress. 

10: Never Giving Up

This may be the most important thing I can pass along. As the old adage states, “You’re not beat until you quit, so don’t quit”. 

Now this sounds easier said than done, and it is. I’ve had no shortage of dark times, but rightly or not, I had to keep looking for the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

I have two bushes in front of my porch and there is a spider that is relentless in building large webs that cover the entire bushes and make the bushes look like a bride’s wedding veil.

I have taken a broom and cleared those webs off every day for weeks and yet every morning when I sit out on the porch and have my coffee, I look at those bushes, they are covered with webs! No matter how many times I destroy that spider’s work, it builds new webs every single day. Now, that is determination! 

As much as I don’t like the webs, I am developing respect for the amount of fortitude that one spider has shown me. That is the sort of thing that gives me the willpower to keep going, no matter what!

I will admit that there are times when the thought of giving up has crossed my mind, but when I think about my wife and what her life would be like if I did give up, I knew I couldn’t quit trying. I have two daughters and three grandchildren and I know I won’t be around forever, but it is my responsibility to at least give it my best shot at sticking around. 

Think about it, I’m sure you have someone that needs you to give it your best shot, if not for yourself then maybe for their sake

Finally:

I truly hope that my words will make a positive impact in your situation. Everyone’s medical journey is different with the way we are all tested in our ability to deal with the pain, the concern, the fear and possible outcomes. 

Mine is only one journey but I hope that by sharing my story it will convince you that there is a way forward, no matter what that may be.

If you have any questions or just want to share your own story, feel feel to email me at kennethlanesmith@gmail.com 

I wish you the very best in your medical journey.

Kenneth

You Want To Put WHAT, UP WHERE?

  

(Laughing at myself as I think about my 

first cystoscopy experience)

I’ll never forget the day my urologist called me and said I needed to come in for a “scope”. I had no idea what that meant, but I would soon find out!

Let me backup a little bit here before I go on. You see, about three months before my crash course into the exciting world of cystoscopies, I had a serious trip and fall accident that left me with a crushed bladder that required a life saving  operation to repair the damage, and as a consolation prize, I received a life sentence of having to rely on a catheter to drain my bladder. 

For those not familiar with the joys of having to rely on a catheter which was developed back in the dark ages of medicine, when a witch’s brew was made from eye of newt and wing of bat, and was thought of as state of the art medicine, please allow me to enlighten you.  

Initially I was fitted with what is known as an indwelling catheter that I wore 24 hours a day. It came with a collection bag to hold my urine which I would open a little valve on the bottom to empty the contents when it became full. The bag was strapped to my lower leg and as you might imagine it got heavier and heavier as it filled up throughout the day. To further understand, try emptying 2 cans of beer into a ziplock bag and strapping it to your lower leg. Now walk around and listen to the slosh, slosh, slosh sound like you’re dragging around an old washing machine on the heavy clean setting. Not a lot of fun I tell you, especially when all the neighborhood doggies think your leg is the neighborhood message board where they can come to check on their pee-mail!

Oh I should also mention that there’s a plastic hose that carries the urine from the bladder down to the bag and can you guess how it gets from my bladder to the bag? That’s right, up my wee willie!

Okay so now you understand the basics of the male version of indoor plumbing.

So, back to my call with my urologist, “Mr. Smith I need you to come in for a scope of your bladder to see how you’re healing after the operation”.

Now up to that point, I assumed that a scope meant something like a scan, or X-ray. That was until I made the mistake of asking him how exactly he was going to see inside my bladder. His matter of factly reply was “Oh we’re just going to insert a camera into your bladder to take a look around”.

Yikes! You’re “just” going to put what, up where?

I have the imagination of a 5 year old and I was envisioning him trying to jamb a Sony Handycam up into a space that wasn’t designed for a battery operated camcorder, let alone a battery!

My fears were somewhat set aside when I checked out what Doctor Google had to say about the matter. It turns out that yes, they would look inside my bladder and associated plumbing all the way up, with a tiny camera lens at the end of a cable and not the whole camera! 

Looking at the pictures of the urology spy camera on my computer screen, it looked like it came equipped with about five feet of video cable, and with only my underdeveloped infantile brain to figure this out, I’m thinking they were going to shove the entire length of cable up my, well you know! However, after a call to my doctor, he assured me that they were only going to use a small portion of the cable to reach the scene of the crime to record my Youtube video. I swear I could see his eyes rolling right over the phone.

As my male insecurities crept in, I wondered what kind of man did they think they would need so much cable to reach the goal line? Thinking about it, I realized some guys (yes, like me) are more susceptible to the effects of shrinkage due to cold temperatures than others, so a shorter cable would be fine for me.

Finally the day of reckoning came. As I entered the examination room I was greeted by an older matronly looking nurse whom I assumed was of the age that she had seen everything there ever was to see countless times over the years, and would have no opinion about what I was exposing to the room.

There was a hook on the wall with a sign that read, “Store your dignity and pride here during the procedure”. 

Did I mention the room was cold?  I was instructed to lower my jeans and tighty-whities to my ankles and lay on the table and wait for the doctor to arrive. I was given a small towel about the size of a square of toilet paper to cover myself up with as I tried to calm myself by staring upwards and counting the tiny holes in each ceiling tile as I waited for my urologist to arrive. For future reference, there are 96 holes in each tile.

When the doctor arrived, I was surprised that he was not alone. As he entered the room like a man about to do battle with the lions in the Colosseum of ancient Rome, he was accompanied by three very attractive young ladies who looked about the age of high school seniors. As a reference, at my age, anyone less than fifty looks like a high school senior. 

Oh this is great! He’s brought a cheerleading squad with him. Just what I need, more eyes in the general direction of my nether region. Now I’m sure the room is getting colder!  

Well I could tell you, the whole experience was awful, but I’d be lying. I had worked myself up into a bit of a frenzy for nothing. 

It was over very quickly, taking maybe 10 or 15 minutes and was painless, plus I got to watch the TV monitor showing the entire trip up my personal piping that looked a lot like what the inside of a big city sewer system looks like from start to finish.  

So, don’t be like this stupid ol’ bugger and just relax, it’ll be over before you know it and think of all the stories you can tell your pals. Just don’t mention anything about shrinkage:-)

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Every word of this story is 100% true (except that parts I just made up)

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For more of my Medical Memories, see my blog at

medical-memoir.blogspot.com